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It's July, Reader!
Yes, I realize that it's not early on a Sunday morning. And I know many of you have big plans to celebrate the holiday weekend...so rather than wait to send out The BEST LIFE List, I decided to get it to you today. On July 1.
And since it's July, let me be the first to wish you a Happy Independence Day!
I love this holiday. I love a parade. I love bunting -- and if you’ve seen our house in early July, you know we do not do subtle. I love the fireworks and the flag sweaters and the potato salad. All of it.
But this year, as I was thinking about what to write in this letter, I kept coming back to a different kind of independence. (And that likely has a lot to do with everything going on in our country right now, but that's another topic for another day.) Lately, when I've been thinking about independence, I'm not focused on the historical kind, but the personal kind. The kind that doesn’t require a revolution; just a decision.
Because here’s what I’ve learned after years of working with midlife women: the freedom most of us are actually hungry for isn’t out there somewhere. It’s in here. (Pointing to my chest.) In the quiet moment where you finally say...no more.
So in the spirit of the season, here’s a declaration of independence I’d like to offer you. Scroll through and see which ones land.
A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE FOR THE MIDLIFE WOMAN
As high-achieving women, we hereby declare independence from:
The automatic “yes, of course!” that leaves you overcommitted and quietly resentful before the conversation is even over.
The life you were supposed to want: the one you built to check every box on someone else’s list.
The Sunday dinner you cook in three different versions for three different people who claim to be "picky eaters" but are perfectly capable of eating the same meal.
Other people’s opinions about the choices you are making in your own life, about your own body, in your own house.
The idea that rest has to be earned. That you have to be exhausted enough to deserve a break.
The guilt. All of it. The guilt for wanting more. The guilt for spending money on yourself. The guilt for saying no. The guilt for wanting something different than what you have, even when what you have is genuinely good.
The “someday.” Someday when things slow down. Someday when the kids are older. Someday when you feel more ready. Someday is not a day of the week.
The roles you’ve outgrown: the Fixer, the Overachiever, the Peacekeeper, the Emotional Sherpa, the Julie McCoy who keeps the whole ship running and wonders why nobody is behind her carrying anything. Those roles served you once. They don’t have to define you forever.
The apology that precedes every opinion you share, every need you name, every space you take up.
The work that is impressive on paper and soul-crushing in practice.
The habit of performing happiness for other people’s comfort when you are not, in fact, happy.
The belief that wanting a life that actually feels like yours is somehow ungrateful.
And finally, the version of yourself you’ve been maintaining for everyone else’s benefit, because it’s familiar and safe and keeps the peace.
Independence doesn’t always look like a revolution. Sometimes it looks like saying no without explaining yourself. Sometimes it looks like ordering what you actually want on the menu. Sometimes it looks like finally telling the truth about what’s not working...to yourself first, and then to whoever needs to hear it.
You don’t have to blow up anything to claim your independence. You just have to decide that the life waiting for you on the other side of “someday” is worth showing up for now.
Have a wonderful holiday weekend -- Happy 250, America! 🇺🇸 -- and an incredible month of summery July goodness! ☀️
xx, Laurie
P.S. You may be wondering if August's newsletter will be sent out on August 1. My honest answer: I'm not sure. We'll see what feels right. 😉
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You've Been Leading Everyone Else's Life. Now, It's Time to Lead Your Own.
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE BEST LIFE™ MASTERMIND.
Real talk: I am completely surprised that there are still spots available for the BEST LIFE Mastermind. I thought for sure that all 10 spots would be spoken for almost as soon as the applications went live. I realized that it's only because I've personally participated in so many retreats, masterminds and other coaching groups that I recognize the incredible value of the BEST LIFE Mastermind.
So, I thought it would be helpful to answer some of the questions that keep popping up about the Mastermind...in hopes that you'll decide to make this kind of investment a priority in your life. (And of course, if you have questions that aren't answered here, let's get on a quick 15-minute call and talk about them. You can click here to book a call.)
WHEN IS THE DEADLINE TO REGISTER?
July 31, 2026, at the latest...or when all 10 spots are claimed.
WHAT IS THE AGE RANGE TO ATTEND THE MASTERMIND?
Short answer: There is no minimum or maximum age requirements to attend.
The real answer: You may have noticed that it's not the "Midlife" Mastermind or the Mastermind for "Midlife Women." It's the BEST LIFE Mastermind...for a reason. Because I want women everywhere to take steps in the direction of living their best lives.
Having said that, most of the women I work with start asking "what's next?" for them in midlife. Once the kids are more self-sufficient or out of the house. Once they are past the hustle and ladder-climbing phases of their early careers. When they have more time and energy to devote to themselves.
For some women, that happens in their mid- to late-30s. For others, they wait until after retirement in their 60s to start thinking about what "living their best life" means to them. The one "requirement" worth considering: the Mastermind will be more impactful for women who have some life experience under their belts.
WHY ARE THE IN-PERSON RETREATS SCHEDULED DURING THE WEEK?
That's by design. Because I need to get you thinking differently about yourself and your life so that you can start living your life differently.
For most women, we relegate ourselves to the "extra" time in our lives. And as high-achieving women, we know that there is rarely any "extra" time. Which means we wait to pursue our dreams. We freely give our time and energy to our family and friends and careers...with the assumption that we'll focus on ourselves someday, when the time is "right," when things settle down....
So instead of trying to squeeze in time for ourselves over the weekend, we're going to tackle the most important work of our lives during the work week. In other words, we're matching the Mastermind schedule to the importance of this work. And because we're focusing on PERSONAL LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT, the Mastermind qualifies as leadership development training that many companies will pay for. (If you want to know more about how to pitch this to your boss, let's talk.)
Here's the best part of the schedule: it is conducive to creating experiences that stick. Usually, we attend a retreat over the weekend, travel home on a Sunday night, and then slip right back into our weekly routine on Monday morning. Which means that all of those retreat plans and ideas and dreams get shoved into a notebook and placed on a shelf...never to be thought about again. By doing the retreat work during the week, there is time built into this schedule to reflect and decompress before heading straight back to your normal life. You choose whether you want to travel back home for the weekend or stay a couple extra days at a world-class resort. Either way, you have time to be You 3.0 before your life demands that you slip right back into real-life you.
HOW CAN I JUSTIFY THE INVESTMENT?
I understand that spending money on yourself may feel indulgent or selfish. I also know that an investment in yourself is also the only investment that benefits yourself and everyone else and every other part of your life.
Let's talk numbers. Other similar masterminds are priced at least 2x the investment of the BEST LIFE Mastermind...and those experiences typically don't include accommodations and all meals...and the definitely don't include an afternoon at the spa. My 1:1 coaching clients pay 20% more to work with me for 9 months...and receive 80% less coaching time.
And bonus: for this first cohort, the investment is as low as it will ever be...with greater access to me and more influence on how the Mastermind will be delivered. If you decide to join following cohorts, your pricing will be grandfathered in at the first cohort rate.
And as I mentioned above, if your work pays for some or all of your professional development coursework, the Mastermind provides coaching that will help you execute more efficiently at work. If you own your own business, this is likely a qualifying business expense. Remember, too, that there are payment plans available.
You have 31 more days to say "YES!" to yourself. We get started in September, so that you can enjoy your summer...and have something to look forward to when we're all settling into our normal fall routine. I'll be looking for your application.
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Everything I'm Enjoying This Month
BOOKS + SHOWS
Last month, I told you that I rarely read fiction books unless I'm on vacation. Well, I was at an event a couple weeks ago, and a woman I was talking with was raving about two books that she'd recently read: The Correspondent and Yesteryear. So naturally, I ordered them, and read them both in a matter of days.
About The Correspondent: Sybil Van Antwerp is a mother, grandmother, divorcee, and distinguished lawyer, who has lived a very full life. Throughout her life, she has used letter writing to make sense of the world and her place in it. We meet her in retirement, when Sybil write letters to her brother, to her best friend, to the president of the university who will not allow her to audit a class she wants to take, to Joan Didion and Larry McMurtry to tell them what she thinks of their latest books, and to one person to whom she writes often yet never sends the letter. The entire book is written in letters and emails. It's certainly an interesting structure...unlike anything I've read before.
About Yesteryear: Natalie is a trad-wife influencer, who lives on a 500-acre farm in rural southeastern Idaho with her handsome cowboy husband and five children. Everything about her life is perfectly curated for social media. Until she wakes up one morning in a parallel life that looks like hers...but somehow isn't. Can a trad-wife influencer survive in a life without the modern comforts -- electricity, indoor plumbing, designer clothing and Target runs? She wonders if she is suddenly in a trad-wife reality show, where she has to hand wash clothes with lye soap and bake every loaf of bread over an open fire? I loved this book!
I also read one non-fiction book, Think First: Stop Being the Bottleneck. Start Building Thinkers, written by my friend Allison Dunn. The premise of the book is the most successful, most capable, most driven people also become the bottleneck in their organizations. They keep doing exactly what made them successful in the first place. They keep answering. They keep solving. They keep being the person everyone comes to. In doing that, they teach everyone around them to stop thinking for themselves...without ever meaning to.
What I think puts "Think First" in a different category of "business" books, is that it also applies to living your life. The five methods Allison discusses -- clarify what matters, solve at the source, think in leverage, trust internal wisdom, interrupt autopilot -- don't just apply to running a team or a company. They apply to running a family. A volunteer committee. A friendship. Your own internal dialogue at eleven o'clock at night when you can't sleep because you're trying to solve everyone's problems at once.
Allison and I discussed the book on the podcast last month. Click here to listen!
From books to TV.... The last season of The Bear is now streaming on Hulu. We binged the entire last season last weekend, and I'm so sad to see this show ending. The cinematography. The story-telling. The character development. What a show!
THINGS I'VE RECENTLY PURCHASED + LOVED
Except for stocking up on office supplies that I needed during Amazon Prime Day(s), I haven't done much shopping recently. I'm also shopping for a new bicycle, so I've been less tempted to "add to cart" on items that I find when I'm bored-browsing.
The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale happens in July, so there will be shopping guides coming your way in the next couple weeks. Until then, you may want to check out these sling backs from Sézane, comfortable right out of the box, the perfect heel height and a pop of Parisian gold that immediately elevates any outfit. 💛
THE EASIEST INDEPENDENCE DAY DESSERT
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Root Beer Floats
Pour enough root beer in a glass to cover the bottom of the glass -- about 1/2". (I like A&W or Mug root beer.)
Add two scoops of vanilla ice cream...watch it form the crusty foam!
Fill the glass with root beer.
Add a flag pick, a straw, a spoon...and enjoy!
Adult version: Add a shot of bourbon. Cheers! 'MERICA!
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Words on the Street
If you follow me on social media, you may have seen these sequences. Each one tells a different story about what women are thinking and feeling...and women are LOVING them! Just click on the photo below to read all of the slides. Let me know which one resonates the most with you.
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Quick Clicks for You
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Listen Up!
Listen to all of June's podcast episodes, including why it's time to shoot our shot, why we delay making decisions in our personal lives, a wake-up call for midlife women, conversations with incredible, and more! This one with Hillary Dater is creating a ton of buzz...women are loving it!
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The Paris Retreats
It's time to book your fall schedule...and I'd love to have you join me in Paris in October! I'm so excited to share my favorite gems of Paris with you. Just like all other BEST LIFE™ Retreats everything is included. Just book your flight, and let me take care of the rest. Last chance to book is August 1!
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The Best Life Planner
Q3 (gulp!) starts on Monday. Order your new Best Life Planner...filled with all of the daily and weekly systems scientifically-proven to help you design + live your very best life. Created for a high-achieving woman, by a high-achieving woman. You'll wonder how you ever lived without it!
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Before You Go...
Thank you for being here!
I love hearing from you, and I personally read and respond to every one of your emails...no AI here! Click here to email me!
At the School of Midlife, I'm on a mission to give all women the tools, insights and permission to live their BEST LIFE in midlife and beyond. And I absolutely could not do it without you. 💛
Do your friends know about the School of Midlife? I'd love it if you would help us spread the word and forward this email to them.
Was this email forwarded to you, and you want to be in the know on all things School of Midlife? For the time being, please reply to this email and I'll add you to the distribution list. (I haven't yet figured out how to create a way for you to subscribe...it's on the "to do" list.) 😉
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